“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” – Mahatma Gandhi
How well do you know you? This isn’t about those things we are aware of. This is about those things everyone else knows, but don’t tell us. Occasionally, we get glimpses in a random compliment from a co-worker, during the rare meaningful conversation, or when someone is frustrated enough to be really honest with us.
What do you say to yourself? We often say things to ourselves we would never say to anyone else. We can be downright mean. As I meet with clients, I hear comments like:
“I’m not a good person.”
“I’m ugly.”
“I’m no good at_____”
“Nobody likes me.”
“I can’t get ahead in life.”
Every student I meet seems to have a label: gifted, good, bad, a problem, smart, shy, an “ADD kid, “on the spectrum.” Labels, like a diagnosis, help us understand, treat and organize how we help students. Unfortunately, these labels are often thrown around in front of the students, as if they can’t be heard. Remember Jane Elliot’s brown eye, blue eye experiment? Children look to their teachers and parents to help them understand their place in the world.
We are more often frightened than hurt; and we suffer more from imagination than from reality.–Seneca
We all have tons of things rattling around inside our heads all the time. These include:
Many say there is less shame in the world these days. I would say the opposite is true—there is an abundance of shame. This drives many of the negative behaviors we see in our others, our children and ourselves.
