I hope it’s not easy for you

“All growth depends upon activity. There is no development physically or intellectually without effort, and effort means work.” — Calvin Coolidge

 

I said it. My hope is that we are all doing something that is a little hard. A life of ease breeds a desire for more ease. We see it all around us. I understand why we want things easier. Who doesn’t? But we need to understand there are consequences.

 

1. Perspective. When we get too comfortable, we lose sight of the forest because of the trees. We lose sight of how small our problems might be in comparison to others.
2. Resilience. We also lose our ability to deal with adversity. Without resilience, the smallest obstacles can defeat us or cause us just quit. How many mole hills do you see others react to like mountains?
3. Perseverance. We forget that nothing of ultimate value comes easy. When we are faced with challenges, we find ways to avoid them instead of tackling them head-on. In the process, we also avoid the fulfillment and reward that comes only from solving the problem.

 

We tend to avoid growth because it is painful and hard. But, when things are hard and you are challenged you find more creative solutions, to persevere in ways you never knew you could, and experience a satisfaction you can get no other way. Ultimately, only the challenges will bring out the best in you.

 

Some ideas on how to create growth in your life.

 

1. What do you fear? The simple and obvious list. Do one thing you fear–even a little bit. Not only will you have fewer fears, you will have greater confidence.
2. Voluntary discomfort. Gain perspective of what you’ve tried to avoid. Be uncomfortable. Skip a meal to feel hunger, take a really cold shower for 30 seconds, go a day without your cell phone. You will find you’ll come through with no ill-effects. Much anxiety and stress is based on irrational fear, rarely reality.
3. Random kindness. This sounds antithetical, but even being nice to others can be a struggle. How often do we not do something nice for someone else because we are afraid of losing time, not getting the expected reaction, afraid to “impose” on someone else.
4. Let others struggle. Again, sounds contradictory, but not letting others struggle and solve their own problems can also limit their growth, especially in children. If you have kids, make them talk to their teacher about a bad grade and let them resolve peer conflicts. It’s hard to watch another struggle, but jumping in can deprive them of a lesson they may need later in life.

 

The goal is to introduce a little struggle or appreciate the struggles you have. Understand that when you are struggling, you are growing and building resilience. Give it a try. I think you will find the results miraculous.

 

“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But, nothing is as painful as staying stuck where you do not belong.” — N. R. Narayana Murthy