Anagnorisis

Sep 18 2018

“I’ve been letting other people decide who I am. I am who I am because of someone else. That sucks. It’s not my happiness, but someone else’s.”

This quote is from a client who realized almost everyone else was determining her value and worth. The idea is captured in the Greek word anagnorisis. It’s a word that refers to the point when a character discovers the true nature or reality of their own situation.

For many this is a hard moment. For my client, the emotion was sadness. Sadness that so much time had been lost chasing the wrong goals and ideals, trying to please others and not being true to herself.

Inherent in this realization is a confrontation with identity. When someone reaches this point, they are often left with confusion about who they really are. Sometimes this also includes anger, mostly at themselves. It takes some time alone to process this epiphany and it’s implications.

Loss of identity is a common reason many will avoid getting rid of defining attitudes or behaviors. Once these defenses are removed, many feel open and vulnerable and unsure of who they really are.

However, it is only at this point when people can turn a corner.

The point is that we can’t start moving forward until we can be real with ourselves, to look inside honestly without any pretense, but also to do it with some curiosity and compassion.

Is it time for you to take a look and see who or what is defining you? Who, through their actions or words, drives how you think and feel about yourself? Who is having the final say in determining you?

Something to think about.