Uncertainty

“Adversity introduces men and women to themselves.” —Albert Einstein

 

Uncertainty is synonymous with anxiety. Fear of the unknown is one of the greatest sources of anxiety. We can drive ourselves crazy trying to account and plan for all the possibilities, yet it is impossible to work with unknowns and what-ifs.

 

If you have children, who naturally feel more vulnerable, this uncertainty can feel overwhelming.  Here are some thoughts on ways to cope with uncertainty.

 

1. MSU.Our brain will fill any gaps in knowledge with fabricated facts. I call it MSU: Making Stuff Up.  Usually, the made-up facts are worst case scenarios. But they are only our imaginations. If we take a moment and consider the actual fear, we usually find there is little evidence to support it. Be aware of what thoughts you’re entertaining.

 

2. What you know versus what you feel. Feelings can deceive us. Make a list of the things you know for certain. When your feelings cause you anxiety, I go back to the list, to the foundation. I can trust facts. I can’t always trust my feelings.

 

3. Eliminate the variables. Certainly, we can’t get rid of all the unknowns, but the more information we have to work with, the better. What things can you do to eliminate the unknowns? The moreproactiveyou can be, the less reactive you will be. That means feeling more control and less anxiety.

 

4. Take care of yourself.The basics. Something we can control is taking care of ourselves. Here is a simple acronym to use help identify what you need and also serves as a way to correct it. These are the times you’ll be at your worst, but also these tell us what to do to feel better.

Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired

 

5. Focus on what you can control–the present.Ask yourself what you need to do next. That’s it. One thing at a time. It’s all you can control.

 

6. Focus on the trees, not the forest. Staying in the present allows us to not be overwhelmed by everything. A forest can feel huge, but each tree keeps it manageable. Again, one thing at a time.

 

7. Embrace adversity.The only time we grow is when we are outside our comfort zone. When everything is easy, we atrophy. Adversity is a period of growth. It challenges us to be creative, adaptive, and resilient.

 

8. Stay positive.Each day, write down one way you have grown or something you appreciate from this experience. For example, working from home in jammies, helping your neighbor in a way you couldn’t before, or watching our school community come together to quickly problem solve.

 

The goal of these ideas is to help you not be overcome by emotions and to keep the thinking part of the brain engaged. If you can do this, you can not only rest and relax through the toughest of times, but thrive.