“We repeat what we don’t repair” — Christine Langley-Obaugh

There are a million things that could upset or bother us on any given day — but they don’t. There are, however, some things that do. These are often little things that generate an enormous amount of emotion.

These are sign posts that point to the challenges that lie within us. They point to our “buttons,” our weaknesses, our insecurities. These are those reactions we have—anger, panic, sadness—that come upon us so suddenly we can’t use coping strategies effectively. Before we can even think about it, we are lashing out, in tears or unable to catch our breath.

These emotions come from somewhere.

I heard a friend say, “Why do people keep dredging up the past?  There’s nothing I can do about it, so it doesn’t matter.”

Just because we can’t change those events doesn’t mean they don’t matter. It also doesn’t mean there isn’t something that can be done.

While it is true we can’t change events in the past, it is those very same events that drive our feelings and behaviors today. These are the things that have shaped us into the people we are. They drive our negative self-beliefs. “I’m not good enough.” “I’m a disappointment.”

Marginalizing the past’s impact may allow us to feel better in the moment, but it does not allow us to get to the root cause.

This is one reason why cognitive or talk therapy isn’t always effective. The source of the problem is not a cognitive problem—it is an emotional one. It goes to the core of who we are.

EMDR therapy addresses these root causes. It doesn’t take away those events or our memory of them, but it does let us remember them in a way that doesn’t bother us. The result is restoring function and removing triggers–a way to repair the past without removing it.